A Tradition Worth Upholding

Even though I am residing far-off from my family, I still believe in maintaining robust family ties. However when I look around it is not the situation! Nowadays most people undervalue the family system that is still the most important institution for many Indians like us. The concept of family has also changed over time, now it only consists of father, mother and their children-we call it a "nuclear family"! I am not advocating for the traditional joint family system. It may not be practical in this fast moving world. But I strongly believe that it is possible to sustain healthy kinship bonds between grandparents, uncles, aunts, nieces, nephews, etc. by frequent visits, participation in festivals, celebrations, births, marriages, etc. But in this day and age children are growing up thinking that others can never be their well-wishers and they can trust only themselves - a kind of separation which has become a trait of their persona. For most of the younger generations "I and Me" matter more than "We and Us"! I must mention here that there are some people who take sadistic enjoyment by disintegrating families through creating troubles and making risqué remarks about other members of the family thereby instilling suspicion in their minds in order to make them fight each other! Only way to save the family is to be cautious of such persons!

I used to tell my two-year-old baby that the particular toy belongs to her and so on and so forth. I realized I'm sowing the seeds of separation in her little mind that may become one of the traits her personality later on. I believe an extended family can inculcate values of love, appreciation, peaceful coexistence, spirituality, respect to elders, strong family ties, hospitality, etc in young minds! Currently, it is a trend to defy traditional values and norms by saying that our value system is outdated and labeling it as faux pas! It is true that values will change over time to be in tandem with the changing world order. It doesn't mean to defy everything. I do believe children should be encouraged to be independent and self-sufficient (which was not the case in the traditional joint family) by positively influencing the child's attitude and behaviours. Thus we have to adopt the values that can still make significant positive changes in our and our children's lives! As I look back, I realize that the values I learned from my family are important aspects of my personal identity.

Vedic quotes

Piteva Putranabhi samsuajasva nama | - Atharvaveda
(Let us love each other the same way a father loves his children)

Brahmadwishaha avajahi | - Samaveda
(Destroy hatred by knowledge)

Ugram Vachaha Apavadhihi | - Samaveda
(Do not speak harsh words. Our words should exhibit our thoughts)

Sukritya Mahana Abhyavardhayaha | - Samaveda
(You become noble because of your good deeds)

Reality?

Every time I think about relationships, I get worried because I have seen relationships are based on convenience for most of the people aroud us, no trust among even the family members! We are living in a world that is bizarre where even friendships are capricious. Envy, jealousy, revenge, rudeness, status, etc are ruling everybody's consciousness-there are too many skeletons in the closet! For most people, the most important things in their life are linked to money, power, social recognition,etc. Everyone seemingly leading dual lives! I know in today's world there is no need to get excited or worried about something that is a dime a dozen. Our values and skepticism in these situations can't help, people are learning to come to terms with the hypocrisy and insecurities of the world we dwell in. Everybody is talking about values...but I always wounder where these values have gone? The value erosion is more visible in our society exemplified by dysfunctional families. The erosion of values are demonstarted by daily newspapers which are filled with stories of cheating, crimes, incest, and what not! We(Indians) had a way of life with a rich personality of its own. We are talking about globalisation of economies...now we really need globalisation of our long forgotten values to create a common bond of values between all nationalities, races, culture, etc!

Aa no Bhadraah kratavo yantu vishvatah!
Let noble thoughts come to us from every side!-Rig Veda 1-89-I